Friday, 24 August 2012

18:48 PM, August the 3rd, The Future

A.

DIY biology has really become part of all our lives. If you want to do something with bacteria, there is probably a protocol for it somewhere and if there isn’t, you can just ask for help online. I mean, who doesn’t like to do a little tweaking here and there, whether it be for a more pest-resistant vegetable garden, to get that bacterial paint the perfect eggshell colour for your walls or, in my current case, to help marinate my dinner faster and bring out the flavours with the help of enzymes. Even everyday British food, not very famous for its flavour, tastes a lot better now that you can just throw packets of flavouring and enzymes into it and just leave it to cook for a specified amount of time. No muss, no fuss, perfect for the lazy and the herb-and-spice illiterate alike. And what’s a lazy dinner without a cold one? ‘For best results, keep on ice at all times when not in use’. Funny how the instructions for storing enzymes are exactly the same as the instructions on this beer can. Thanks to my connections from back in the non-government-work-days, I now have a lifetime supply of BeerGen beer. Technically, I’m a flavour and consistency tester. Practically, I get free beer for life and since they keep coming out with new flavours all the time, it doesn’t even get boring. Plus, in lieu of a morning tea, I could always have a can since some contain enzymes that neutralize the alcohol before I’m even out the door. A driver’s best friend.

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